On this day, nineteen years ago, I was nervously sitting in a salon chair. I wasn’t nervous because I was about to get married. I was actually terrified because I was about to have my hair backcombed into an up-do. I have an unusually sensitive scalp that does not like to be trifled with. However, under the “You have to suffer, to be beautiful” rule, I mentally prepared myself for the pain. It hurt. That was the only time I cried all day.
I didn’t cry when I walked down the aisle. I didn’t cry when I said my vows. I didn’t even cry when I caught a glimpse of my dad tearing up as I stood on the altar facing my groom. Don’t misunderstand. I come from a long line of cryers and I can bawl with the best of them. I once cried so much while watching a movie about a sad dog that my daughter still looks at me when she thinks the tears might commence and says, “Please don’t have a Hatchi moment, Mom.” At that point in my life, I didn’t even like dogs.
Another time, I nearly hyperventilated because I was so happy to see my family at a family reunion. No one else was having that same reaction. So understand, by all accounts, I should have been a pool of tears mess on my wedding day. I have looked back on that day many times and even questioned myself why I didn’t turn on the tears faucet. However I think I know why: I was happy and confident that I had made the perfect choice. I was surrounded by my dearest friends and family. There was no need to be anything but happy.
Now, we all know that nineteen years of marriage takes work. As does two years or fifty-three years of committment to one person. Keeping true to yourself, letting go of parts of yourself, finding new parts of yourself, and sharing all that you have is work. Some days easier work than other days. However, the moments when we laugh so hard that someone snorts or the times when we realize that we are the only ones who truly understands how the other is feeling… make me know I would sit in that salon chair and let someone pull and tug and poke my tender head a million times. Happy Anniversary to my one and only.
And yes, I cried just a little while I wrote this…